just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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