Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
