I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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