I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
