you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
people are starting to question the shark bite story
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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