There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Randomize
