Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
