I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
