If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
