what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
