break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
