I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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