It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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