I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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