i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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