His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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