I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
