Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
my shit smells like andre
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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