Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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