We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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