Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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