i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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