So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
My dick has a subreddit
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
