He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
