why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
