Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
only you would photoshop your dick
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
