rhymes with "ouble enetration"
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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