so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
