Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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