Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
