Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
