I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Randomize
