So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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