I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
