I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
