Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
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