i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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