I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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