Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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