So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
