What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
