Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
