he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
