Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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