she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
