i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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