yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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