I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
