I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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