like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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