So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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