I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Randomize