I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
