is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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