I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
