just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
