I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
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