Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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