You made me cry and you don't even care
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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